I don’t have everything figured out. And that’s okay.
In a world where we are suppose to have our finances in check, our careers laid out for us and have a steady home with a growing future… well, that pressure to achieve even the simplest conveniences in life is immense. Overwhelming even.
In truth, I am a hot mess. My life is chaotic, my living situation frustratingly small, my income sporadic due to me being a freelancer in the creative industry and my health has been wavering. But despite that I am still working hard. My social life is likewise sporadic, can’t blame Covid completely for that one either. And mentally, also not doing great as I have a chronic case of anxiety. And while having said all that, I consider myself to be okay.
Sure, I have had the occasional break downs where I cry myself to sleep because I worked so hard for almost no money at all when business was low. Or I didn’t get the job I really wanted or better said; needed to afford my share of the rent bill. But then I think, I tend to cry a lot anyway. Not to mention I feel exhausted all the time, yet can’t sleep well. So yeah, a chaotic tiresome hot mess of a life. Yet still I enjoy what I do.
And of course I’ve done some mistakes in the past which still haunt my brain at the most inconvenient of moments. Mistakes that have had consequences in life and career which are forgotten by everyone but me. And also horrible occurrences have happened in my life which were not anything I could have prevented or have seen coming. Events that broke me. And you know what? Sometimes, shit just happen. Little moments that can change everything. But when those moments happen, I try to learn from them, process my emotions and then I move forward. Because even though I felt at my wits end, there are still aspects of life I enjoy. Ambitions I want to achieve and a future I want to reach while it’s still in my power to do so. Till it isn’t. And slowly over time, I see both the good with the bad, and things get better. Slowly.
Key is to keep moving forward.
The reason probably why you even continued reading my article is probably to see if I have it worse than you. And maybe I do and maybe I don’t. Circumstances differ for everyone. But it is not weird or bad to think that if I can muddle along, then you can do too. But honestly, look around. We all of us are muddling along. Even people who from the outside seem like they have it together. Circumstances differ, and so do people. We are all just doing the best we can for ourselves and the ones we care about. Not everyone has it figured out. And that’s okay.
From the moment we are in school we are conditioned to make something of our lives. Have a career, make lots of money, start a family, buy a house. But what seems like a easy thing to achieve on paper, is not always the reality. Nor ever without it’s tribulations. Things happen. Events that are out of your control. The firm you work at becomes bankrupt, your partner dies, a accident happened, a earthquake destroyed your home, your depression kicked in. All of the above and more. Things happen out side of our control. It comes over our lives like a wave. And if at the end you are still breathing, all you can do is stand up and keep moving. Keep trying. It’s what I did. And although it’s tough, it got better somehow.
And no, I still don’t have everything figured out. That’s not the message here. Nor do you probably. But that’s okay. We’re human. We’re doing our best. As long as we are doing the best we can, as long as we keep going forward. Then we are okay.
It’s okay.
